Saving Serious Coin

[Kelly Lewis]

Saving serious coin
By Kelly Lewis

I'm watching the Yankees win another game on TV and that funny E*TRADE commercial comes on, the one with the baby in a high chair, with a messy face and bib while talking smack to another baby. It always brings a smile to my face. In these dog days of summer, I propose a rewrite to the next baby commercial: "Saving serious coin."

The scene: a gentle American kitchen with cute baby, messy face and bib, sitting in a high chair with SpaghettiOs spewed around. Camera focuses on the lead baby, second baby in the background. The lead baby talks like he's hip and cool. The second baby talks less hip and cool, and a little less cynical.

Lead baby: "So, like, I'm reading the Central Penn Business Journal about the unpassed state budget. What's up with that? Like, what part of the constitutional June 30th deadline don't we get? Do I have to crawl over there and smack some heads around?"

Second baby: "Dude, you know they're short serious coin to balance the budget, baby."

Lead baby: "Hey, I got problems, too. Did you ever smell my diaper after the boss makes me eat those awful carrots and peas?"

Second baby: "Dude, I've been at your house after you ate carrots and peas. That is so wrong."

Lead baby: "What I'm talking about is saving some serious coin. My boys use technology every day to save serious coin, time and sleep. If we want to save serious coin we got to use more technology, not less. Like, when I get out of diapers, I want to have a cool job when we grow up and get out of school, man."

Second baby: "Dude, do I know you? What did you just say about getting a job? You're only 8 months old!"

Lead baby: (stands up in high-chair, hands-out-stretched in a more preacher tone of voice): "What we have is a failure to communicate. What I'm talking about, bling, is return on investment - ROI - 'Cause, Technology today is affordable, reliable and fast, streamlined implementation with ROI in months, not years. What I'm talking about vast data mining and search capabilities so we can do some serious economic modeling to save even more coin."

Second baby: "Hey, man, you're going to fall off that high chair, and you're sounding like James Earl Jones in that scene from ‘Field of Dreams.' "

Lead baby: "With COSTARS, we're saving $82 million in coin by using technology to get all governments and nonprofits to buy together and leverage their purchasing power.

"What I'm talking about is my boy the Guv needs to keep technology in the state budget, man. The IT projects in revenue, treasury, state police, higher ed, health care, public safety - these IT projects show wisdom and serious coin savings."

Mother's voice: "Junior, how many times do I have to tell you to sit down when you are eating your carrots and peas?"

Lead baby: "Good grief, mom."

Second baby: "Dude, you are so busted."


Kelly Lewis is president and chief executive officer of TechQuest Pennsylvania, operated by the Technology Council of Central Pennsylvania. www.techquestpa.com